Trying to Reconnect

These days it seems as though my daughter and I are worlds apart. Despite living in the same house and sitting at the same dinner table we have never been more distant than we have been in these last few weeks. I guess I was fooling myself when I pictured us always being close like we were when she was younger and like I am sure we will be when she gets out of her teens, but the stress of feeling so emotionally disconnected from her right now still bothers me.

My mother reminded me what I was like as a teenager and it wasn’t much different from how my daughter is right now, minus all the new technology and fancy fads. So here I am going through the same thing I put my own mother through. What comes around goes around! My mother also reminded me that she had to “put up” with me and my attitude for years before I grew out of that awful teenage phase, as she described it.

Well, I can’t wait for six more years to have a civil relationship with my daughter. I mentioned before that I am rather impatient when it comes to waiting for certain things. I decided that I would ask her to go to lunch and shopping on Saturday. I wonder if new (appropriate) clothes and a little bit of fun would do the trick for both of us?

Today was the day and it actually turned out to be a nice crisp fall day. We went outlet shopping about 30 minutes away from our house. The drive there was fairly quiet, neither of us said much. We shopped, had lunch and spent the whole day walking in and out of the outside outlets. It was fun trying on clothes, especially ones that we knew we couldn’t afford. We even tried on a few formal dresses, just for fun.

She lightened up a bit mid-day and actually started chatting on the way home about school and the concerts that she and her friends wished they could go to. I was careful not to say too much because as it goes with teenagers, one wrong word from mom could send the day into a completely different direction. I was just going to focus on my listening skills for today and save my opinions for when I really needed her to have them.

I am glad we went and I think that she is too. No arguments, no pressure, no acne talk and a few bags of clothes that met my stamp of approval. Overall it was a successful day and I do feel like we did reconnect in some small way.


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