I have talked about self-esteem on a few different occasions and it seems to be creeping into my thoughts again and again. As a mother, I have a responsibility to pay attention to my daughter’s self esteem while at the same time dealing with the acne flare ups and the mean girls at her school and her over all well-being.

The question is how do I actively work on keeping her self-esteem high while the acne is still visible and her attitude is getting worse? Don’t get me wrong, we have had a few good days and our relationship does seem to be solid, despite her occasional attitude issues that crop up. She still snaps at her brother and huffs at her father, and occasionally she will snort at me when I ask her something, but the last few days have been much better.

I do wonder if her new-found attitude is due to the fact that she feels vulnerable right now. Her acne is not getting better or worse, but as a new high school student and a budding adolescent girl, she is at the brink of her teenage years. How she feels about who she is and how she looks now can impact her high school years and how she develops as an adult. I want my daughter to be a confident, well-adjusted independent woman who does not put her worth in her looks but her accomplishments, but getting that point across can be difficult at best.

She has so many things going for her. Her grades are good, she has a few close friends that she spends a great deal of time with and, for the most part, she has a good attitude towards life, when it isn’t clouded by 13-year-old girl emotions. Yes, she also has acne and she probably will have it throughout her teenage years. This doesn’t mean I am not hopeful that we will find a product that works to minimize her acne, but the reality is that many people who struggle with acne will continue to struggle with it until they find a way to beat it, which can take years.

In the meantime, my husband and I have to find a way to help her to focus on the things that are good in her life and give less energy to the acne and the things that she sees as her weaknesses. We have to make a concerted effort to increase her self-esteem so she will not define herself as just a girl with acne.


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